Revenge of the MSN Quotes!

Urza: HEY ZEFER FACE.
Zefer: Hey
Urza: I think we have some business to discuss.
Zefer: We do?
Urza: Well, no.
Zefer: Oh
Urza: Well, actually!
Zefer: Yes?
Urza: We need to discuss who owns the rights to our new hit single.
Zefer: Our what?
Urza: Our new song! Y'know?
Zefer: No... No I don't know
Urza: I'll refresh your memory.
Urza: It goes a little somethin' like: Urza... Zefer! Urz n' Zefer! Urza... Zefer! Urz n' Zefer!
Zefer: ...
Zefer: Yeah, you can have it.

Baha: And can you tell me a story?
Baha: About the Masters?
Urza: Okay. Gather round the fire, kid.
Baha: Ow...fire hot.
Urza: Once upon a time, there was a happy little village named the Forum! It was filled with happy little Forumites who lived happy little lives despite being oppressed by the Mongol dictator, Frank Verderosa!
Baha: Isn't Verderosa more French?
Urza: Most likely. Mongol just makes him sound more... oppressing.
Urza: Aaanyways, they all lived happily until ONE day, when infamous Master Arc appeared!
Urza: Little did they know, Master Arc was actually a former Forumite with a name that sounds an awful lot like an American presidential candidate!
Baha: Al Gore?
Urza: McDohl.
Baha: And he was...?
Urza: It always seemed to remind me of Bob Dole.
Baha: You have to make this completely idiot proof...
Baha: I don't even know who McDohl was.
Urza: Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Urza: Now, Mister Arc brought alot of other, less infamous people with him, also with that dreaded "Master" prefix. But they pretty much didn't do anything.
Baha: I still don't know who McDohl is.
Urza: As a Forumite?
Baha: Yeah.
Urza: Yeah, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Urza: Whilst the rest of the Masters just stood around, looking important, Master Arc did some horrible things.
Baha: How the fuck can you stand around in a Forum?
Baha: Are they like "Arrr! Our username is in the signed in list! Fear us!"?
Urza: Yes.
Urza: But as an example of his horrific crimes, he searched for the whiniest woman and made her his forced bride. Her name was Rinny.
Baha: I still don't know why McDohl got banned!
Baha: And how do you make someone your forced bride, on a message board?
Urza: AND SO THEN, Master Arc pillaged the village and set fire to the mistresses. Except Kat. She became the first woman to create a manned catapult. That was a pretty valuable weapon during the conflict.
Baha: No...really.
Urza: S-so the drama built and built, until the Forum was almost eliminated! And then, finding the time just right, Master Arc REVEALED himself as McDohl. The common reaction was "WTF?" and no one really knew who he was.
Urza: And then he was all like "You disgraced me in my former form, and now I must GOTH GOTH GOTH GOTH revenge!". But NO ONE knew what he was talking about. And then he like, "Oops. Maybe this was the wrong message board." And he left, and started his own fast food chain.
Urza: And THAT'S how Frank succumbed to DEMOCRACY!
Baha: And the chat room?
Urza: His Mongol brethren had to take it to his son's coming of age celebration.
Baha: Uh...?
Baha: Can you tell it seriously now?
Urza: No.

*Emmanuel (Y'know? From Grace Children's Orphanage? :D) is invited into the converation*
Urza: EMMANUEL'D!
Chi: Hello.
Emmanuel: Hello
Emmanuel: How are u?
Urza: Great! How are the kids, Emmanuel?
Chi: Are you a lesbian/catgirl?
Emmanuel: yes
Chi: Both...?
Emmanuel: I am 21 male.
Chi: I'm confused...
Emmanuel: what u say.
Urza: DO YOU ACCEPT VISA AND MASTERCARD?
Emmanuel: why
Urza: I want to donate to your children hospital.
Emmanuel: Master Card
Emmanuel: thank you
Urza: I will give you different sums of money depending how sick your children are.
Urza: So on a scale from 1 to 10?
Emmanuel: You can send money to me an international check or international money order. Your US check will work too.
Urza: Do you accept Korean?
Emmanuel: sure
Chi: Do you accept animal carcasses?
Emmanuel: sure
Chi: Really?
Emmanuel: I am here in giving our mailing address, so as to facilitate you to send any items, or help you can as the Lord leads you to save these children to win them for christ. We are praying for you and your dear family.
Chi: Do you accept firearms of any kind?
Chi: You know, so the children can defend themselves?
Emmanuel: we feed and care 120 orphan children
Emmanuel: We have much volunteers here, we are in need of funds to save the children.
Urza: Do they like the taste of American firearms?
Emmanuel: yes.
Emmanuel: i like
Chi: I have another very important question regarding Grace Children's Orphanage.
Emmanuel: yes
Emmanuel: Grace Children's Orphanage
Chi: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Emmanuel: yes
Emmanuel: How old are u?
Chi: I am 75 in possum years.
Emmanuel: Oh great
Emmanuel: Where are u from now.
Chi: A small patch of grass, east of the Equator.
Emmanuel: oh ok
Emmanuel: do i know me.
Chi: That's a good question.
Chi: Do you know yourself?
Chi: Hmm...
Chi: Let me think about that one.
Emmanuel: how do i know me.
Urza: Probably as "myself", "me", "I", or "Emmanuel".
Emmanuel: Ok
Emmanuel: Are u send donation our children home.
Urza: We have a special Christmas gift set of 10 rifles and 50 animal carcasses on its way to you now!
Emmanuel: Ok
Emmanuel: can you help our home
Urza: I'm sure that gift set will improve your hospital just fine.
Emmanuel: Ok
Chi: You deserve it.
Emmanuel: did you sent gift alredy
Urza: To start the delivery, click the "X" on the top of this window.
Emmanuel: i did not understnd
Chi: It's quite easy.
Chi: Do you see an X at the top of this chat window?
Emmanuel: what clack now.
Chi: ...
Chi: I tell you what, Emmy.
Chi: This is what you need to do.
Chi: Find a pencil.
Chi: Okay?
Chi: Can you do that for us?
Emmanuel: Okday.
Emmanuel: are u send pencils
Chi: ...
Chi: Okay, so scratch that idea.
Chi: Do you have any superiors in your line of work? Like a boss?
Emmanuel: Nothings
Chi: Nothings? So you're the head of the department, eh?
Chi: You're the Big Cheese?
Chi: The Mack Daddy?
Urza: Emmanuel's The Cheese?!
Urza: I knew it!
Emmanuel: My father is founder of Grace Children’s orphanage I am the co-ordinator of orphanage in India.
Chi: Ohh.
Chi: So your father runs the business, then?
Emmanuel: yes
Emmanuel: My father is Pastor.
Chi: Oh, really?
Chi: Does he like sausage?
Emmanuel: yes
Emmanuel: what mean
Chi: You know, sausage.
Emmanuel: i dont know.
Emmanuel: mens Church.
Chi: Well I'm shocked.
Emmanuel: or somtings.
Chi: Tell you what.
Emmanuel: Ok
Chi: To get our gift, go talk to your father.
Chi: And ask him if he likes sausage.
Chi: He will give you the Letter of Recommendation.
Chi: You take this letter to the Excavation Site.
Chi: And give it to the Foreman.
Chi: But before you can meet him, you'll encounter some monsters!
Chi: So I hope you bring your sword.
Emmanuel: Kindly inform me to which address you have sent.
Emmanuel: gift
Chi: Hang on, I'm getting to that.
Chi: Please be patient.
Chi: Now, give the letter to the Foreman, and he will let you inside the Cave.
Chi: Inside the Cave, you'll fight the Minotaur!
Chi: He will be really tough, but don't worry. The Power of God will lead you to victory.
Emmanuel: Amen
Chi: Once he is good and dead, take his eye.
Chi: The right one, remember that. Always the right.
Emmanuel: Ok
Chi: You bring that eye back to the Orphanage, and drop it down the Old Well.
Emmanuel: Ok
Chi: A Phoenix will rise from the well, and kiss you on the cheek. You will have good luck for the rest of your life.
Emmanuel: are u from Korean?
Chi: I'm afraid not.
Chi: Anyway, head down the Alley.
Chi: There you will meet a Hippo.
Chi: He will challenge you to a duel.
Chi: You must say "No thanks, I'm full.".
Chi: He will cry. A lot.
Chi: Now, put his tears in a container.
Chi: Preferably a glass.
Emmanuel: Ok
Chi: Take the tears back to the Orphanage, and empty them onto the old Statue.
Chi: A heavenly light will shine down upon you.
Chi: And there, on the Statue, in all its glory...
Chi: Will be our gift.
Chi: From us, to you.
Chi: Amen.
Emmanuel: Amen
Emmanuel: Are u send gift for children?
Chi: Yes. For all the children.
Emmanuel: you sent by check or morey order?
Chi: Better.
Chi: I sent it by the glory of the Almighty.
Emmanuel: Amen
Emmanuel: Male or female?
Chi: Both.
Emmanuel: what do u mean/
Chi: One day, Emmy, you will find out what I mean.
Chi: And on that day, we will all smile.
Emmanuel: how old are u again?
Cori: He's 15.
Chi: Yes.
Emmanuel: you say before 70 years old.
Urza: He's both.
Chi: Yup.
Cori: He can do that.
Emmanuel: Oh i see
Emmanuel: how do u get my email address.
Emmanuel: Answer me.
Emmanuel: how do u get my email address.]
Urza: The Almighty told us of you. He told us that you and you alone must vanquish this world's demons.
Cori: You are to set out on a quest for the Opus Dei.
Chi: You are a part of many-a-prophecy!
Cori: The Almighty will reward you for your efforts.
Emmanuel: i didnt understand
Cori: The Almighty works in curious ways.
Emmanuel: Ok
Chi: Emmanuel, I think you'd better get ready for your mission.
Urza: Yeah. You'll need to acquire a Master Sword from the local... Sword... Smith.
Chi: I guess we'll just leave you to get ready.
Chi: Seeya later, HERO.
*Everyone leaves besides Emmanuel*