The Truth

Here's an MSN conversation between Zefer and me. He's so wise.

Zefer: Update Oddities, or I'll kill kitties.
Urza: FINE.
Urza: Later.
Zefer: When later? =b
Urza: When I'm not talking to lovely people like you.
Zefer: I'll kill 20 kitties for every day you don't update. The death of kitties is directly proportionate to how much I want you to update.
Urza: ;_;
Zefer: So on days I don't care as much, I may kill... 19 kitties. Or maybe I'll kill 19 and badly beat one.
Zefer: And on days when I care lots, I'll kill, say... 500 kitties.
Urza: O.O
Urza: Where do the kitties come from?
Zefer: Other people's homes, streets, animal shelters, etc. =b
Urza: Oh...
Zefer: Where did you THINK I'd get them?
Zefer: A kitty machine?
Urza: The stork?
Zefer: The stork isn't real, Urza. Have your parents been sheltering you from how you were really made? =b
Urza: W-what?
Zefer: It's true.
Zefer: You weren't delivered by the stork.
Urza: Were you?!
Zefer: No.
Urza: AHHH!
Urza: Was... ANYONE?!
Zefer: Once long ago, yes.
Zefer: But the baby-delivering stork is now extinct.
Urza: They were tastey, weren't they? Like buffalo?
Zefer: People hunted down the baby delivering stork. These people disliked the human race and wanted them to stop existing. But it was far easier to kill every baby delivering stork than to kill every human. They succeeded in stopping the human race from existing... in a way.
Zefer: I'm not sure I should tell you the rest.
Urza: Tell me, Unky Zef!
Zefer: There are no more people. We're all ROBOTS. With no more baby delivering stork to deliver human babies from the place only they know about, humans were forced to create robots in the place of real people. Every 'human' on the earth is really just machine. No one is quite sure of how real humans worked, anymore. Or even how closely we resemble them.
Urza: *complete shock*
Zefer: It is rather shocking, yes.
Zefer: You'll be told when you reach age... ... hey, on a completely unrelated note, how old are you?
Urza: 15.
Zefer: Oh.
Zefer: Well
Zefer: You'll be told when you reach age 17.
Urza: Told what?
Zefer: It's the official 'tell other robots who think they're really humans that they're robots' age.
Zefer: I know. I'm not supposed to tell you.
Urza: :O
Urza: Wait, aren't you only 16?
Zefer: ...Hey, shut up.